Let Me Go
by QuickestSecret
Summary: Life is all about loving and letting go. And that proves no different for Steven Universe.
1. Chapter 1

**Heyo, Steven Universe one shot…series?**

 **This will be a three-chapter series based on the song 'This is Gospel' by Panic! At the Disco and the animatic 'Steven Universe Animatic_This is Gospel' by JankyBones. Check it out, it's really cool!**

 **Steven Universe doesn't belong to me, it belongs to the wonderful Rebecca Sugar.**

 **As always, please enjoy and review!**

* * *

 _Pearl laughed openly as she spread her arms, gazing over the beautiful countryside. "We could actually win this!"_

 _She heard a chuckle from behind her and turned. Rose Quartz smiled up at her from her seat in the grass._

" _What's so funny?" Pearl asked, still jubilant._

" _You," Rose answered. "Your enthusiasm, your hopes for the future, your eagerness…actually, I'm sorry, funny wasn't the right word." Rose thought a moment. "Inspiring. Yes, that's it. You, Pearl, are inspiring."_

 _Pearl giggled. "Me, inspiring? What about you, Miss Leader of the Gem Rebellion?"_

 _Rose smiled again; it was amazing, really, how she seemed to have so many smiles, each sending a different message. "I merely acted upon my own beliefs. It was your choice to join me."_

 _Garnet grinned, standing off to the side. It was a little over a month since Ruby and Sapphire had decided to be permanently fused, and the giddiness had yet to wear off. It was strange, yes, to have three eyes and to be looking down upon everyone when they usually had to gaze skyward, but to be one forever? It was worth it._

 _Garnet was ripped away from her thoughts as Pearl charged Rose. She crashed into her, hugging her fiercely. The force of Pearl's leap had been too much for Rose, and she toppled backward, landing with a soft thump in the grass. Garnet walked over to the giggling heap, turned around, spread her arms and fell flat on her back beside them._

 _The three gems laughed for a long time, tangled up in each other, never once wanting to let go and ruin the moment. They were friends, they were comrades, and they were going to beat those bastards from Homeworld._

* * *

Rose stares at her swollen belly. She turns her gaze to the three surviving Crystal Gems: Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst. For the first time, tears appear in the corners of her eyes—small, yes, but they sparkle with sadness, apology and happiness.

Nobody says anything. They all know it's time, but no one wants to be the first to say—

"Goodbye." All three heads snap toward Rose. She gives a sad smile. "I'll miss you."

Garnet turns away, not crying yet, but shoulders shaking as she presses a hand to her mouth. Pearl openly sobs, tears streaming down her cheeks in steady rivers. Amethyst looks toward the ground, her eyes shining but refusing to admit it.

Rose holds out her arms in an obvious gesture. The three heartbroken gems need no invitation: they instantly crowd around their leader, murmuring soft goodbyes and good lucks and I love yous.

Greg stands a few feet away from the huddle. He knows he wasn't invited; he would get his chance later. But all the while, there was a voice whispering in his brain, a malicious voice saying that this was his fault. And he knows that voice was telling the truth.

Four hours later, a life is created, and a life is extinguished.


	2. Chapter 2

**Second chapter!**

 **As always, please enjoy and review!**

* * *

 _ **Water…water everywhere…can't escape…chains…chains of water…blurry vision…tired…so tired…want to sleep…can't sleep…have to stay awake…she's pulling again…she's stronger…can't keep going…have to…tidal waves…water everywhere…shadow…big shadow…getting bigger…getting closer…**_

 _ **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!**_

 _ **She's here.**_

" _Lapis!"_

" _Gah!" Lapis Lazuli fell out of her hammock. Breathing heavily, she frantically glanced around. "Wh-what's going on?"_

 _A green, triangular silhouette leaned over her. "You were having—what did Steven call them?" The silhouette backed away a bit, thinking. Lapis blinked, and her vision improved. She saw Peridot staring off into space. After a second, Peridot snapped her fingers. "Nightmares! You were having a nightmare!"_

 _Lapis stood up. Her legs were shaking, but she did her best to hide it. "So why exactly did you wake me up?" It came out harsher than she meant for it to be._

 _Peridot's brow furrowed, slightly hurt. "I…I just wanted to see if you were okay."_

 _Lapis took a deep, steadying breath. "Yeah, I'm…fine. I'm fine."_

" _You sure?"_

 _Lapis nodded. "I don't think I'll be able to go back to sleep, though."_

 _Peridot brightened. "Want to watch CPH?"_

 _Lapis mulled it over. "Alright," she said. It couldn't hurt to watch some mindless T.V., could it? Although she could never tell Peridot CPH was mindless—she'd throw a 'fan fit' again. "But I pick the episode."_

" _Fine. But nothing from Season Five, it's garbage. I swear to Homeworld, Percival can be such an idiot sometimes!"_

 _Lapis laughed slightly; it was good to hear Peridot ranting about something as harmless as character ships. It took her away from her own thoughts—thoughts that she knew were best to stay away from._

 _But she couldn't._

 _Not when they plagued and assaulted her constantly._

 _The two gems headed up to the loft. Peridot reluctantly agreed to a rerun of Season Three, and they settled themselves on the couch, the light of the old television illuminated their faces._

 _Lapis tried to concentrate on the episode; it was one of her favorites, but her thoughts kept straying back to her dream. It had been one of those nightmares where it was so vivid, you were sure it was real…until you awoke, safe in bed, disoriented and yet relieved._

 _Lapis, however, was anything but relieved._

"… _Lapis…"_

 _Because her nightmares weren't fantasy; they were fragmented memories, memories of terrible things._

" _Lapis…"_

 _Terrible things that she did._

" _Lapis!"_

" _Uh!" Lapis jumped for the second time. Peridot had paused the episode and was staring at her concernedly._

" _Lapis, are you okay?"_

 _Lapis blinked. "Yeah, I'm—"_

" _Don't say you're fine!" Lapis flinched slightly at Peridot's tone. "Don't say you're okay or that it's nothing! Lapis, I'm your friend. You don't have to tell me what's bothering you if you don't want to, but don't please don't pretend. It—" Peridot swallowed. "It hurts. It hurts that you think you can't trust me with your problems."_

 _Lapis stared. Never once did she think that Peridot would be hurt by her brushing off her fears. And the look Peridot was giving her made her feel even worse._

 _Without thinking, Lapis scooted over and hugged Peridot. Peridot let out a small squeak of surprise, but she didn't back away. Lapis buried her face in the green gem's shoulder. "I'm sorry," she murmured. Her eyes filled with tears that dripped down her cheeks, yet her voice stayed steady. "I didn't—" Her throat squeezed tight. "I'm so sorry." She lifted her eyes to stare at nothing in particular, instead concentrating on not completely breaking down._

 _Lapis paused, suddenly feeling awkward. Peridot wasn't hugging back; should she let go? Should she apologize and forget about the moment? The one moment in a long time where she didn't feel so alone?_

 _And then Peridot's small arms hesitantly wrapped around her back._

 _And as Lapis let out a shaky breath, she realized that she didn't want to let go. Not at all._

* * *

"You don't understand!" Lapis cries. Peridot and Steven stare at her, eyes wide with tears. "If the Diamonds come…they'll…I…" Lapis squeezes her eyes shut for a moment, willing her imagination under control. Then she opens them and fixes her two friends with an almost emotionless gaze. "I won't let myself get caught up in another war."

Lapis spins around and raises her hands. A bubble of water forms around the barn and carries it into the sky, hovering a few feet off the ground, waiting for Lapis.

"Wait! Please!" Lapis inwardly flinches. _Don't turn around_ , she tells herself. _Don't. You know you won't be able leave if you do._

She turns.

Peridot is gazing at her with a heartbroken expression. "Please don't go…" she whimpers. "I need you."

Steven steps forward and places a hand on Peridot's shoulder. "We all need you," he says. "Please. Don't leave." His voice is compelling, and Lapis almost obeys, preparing to set down the barn and fall into her friends' arms.

Then she remembers what's at stake.

Lapis looks at them evenly. Then she turns her back on them, spreads her water wings and soars upward, the barn following her. She hears nothing behind her, the wind in her ears making it impossible.

Lapis doesn't want to let go. But she has to.


	3. Chapter 3

**Last chapter! I see I didn't get many responses…no biggie. The next piece I will post will definitly be for HtbH, so get ready for that!**

 **Now that the shameless self-promotion is over, please enjoy and review!**

 **o~O~o**

Stevonnie sits up on the cliff, her back to the lighthouse. She closes her eyes and breathes in slowly, savoring the salty air.

 _So, any particular reason you wanted to fuse and come up here?_

… _I just wanted to let you know I love you._

Stevonnie's eyes open abruptly. Without realizing it, her face twists into a half confused, half sad expression.

 _What do you mean?_

 _I love you. I just wanted to tell you that._

 _Well, yeah. I get that. But you could've done that at the Temple. Why come all the way out here?_

…

 _Connie? Are you okay?_

… _Please don't ever forget that. I love you so, so much._

Stevonnie's eyes widen. She stands up quickly, turning to go back down the hill.

 _You're scaring me, Connie! What's wrong?_

 _It's my time, Steven. I can feel it._

Feet pound the grass. Stevonnie's running now. Her hands are clenched into fists swinging back and forth, nails digging into her palms.

 _But-but you said…you said the tests went fine! That there was nothing wrong!_

 _Steven…_

 _You lied! Why?! Why didn't you tell me you were sick?! That you were DYING!_

 _Because I knew you would do this!_

Stevonnie sucks in deep, halting breaths. Tears blur her vision. Everything comes in and out of focus, colors mixing and disappearing. She doesn't know if it was from the disease or her two halves arguing, trying to stay fused.

She hopes it's the latter.

 _Do what? Worry about my wife? Try to find a cure? Help you?_

 _No, act like you could stop death! Steven, you may be a Crystal Gem, but I'm not. I didn't stay young for longer like you, and I'm not going to outlive a human! I AM a human!_

 _Maybe my healing spit…or my tears…maybe they can…_

 _NO, Steven._

Stevonnie's sprinting now. She's at the bottom of the hill. The grass beneath her feet turn to pebbles, and gradually into sand. Pushing herself harder, she lets out a strangled cry. "Garnet! Pearl! Amethyst!"

 _You have to let me go._

 _No…_

"Peridot! LAPIS! JASPER!"

 _If you love me, you'll let me go._

 _I can't…._

"SOMEBODY _HELP!"_

 _Please, Steven._

"Stevonnie?" Pearl rushes around the corner of the cliff, the rest of the gems behind her. "Are we under attack?"

"Pearl…" Stevonnie chokes out, before falling onto her knees and gasping for air.

Pearl makes to go to her, but Garnet pulls her back. "Wait," she murmurs.

Stevonnie clutches her chest. There's a dull ache near her heart, and she knows what it is.

 _I'll always be with you. You know that, right?_

… _Yeah. Yeah, I do._

A pink glow surrounds Stevonnie, and she unfuses.

Connie shakes with pain, her shawl askew on her shoulders. Steven hurriedly crawls over to her, pushing his long, curly hair away from his face. He helps her to her knees, and Connie looks at him.

She's smiling.

And Steven knows he's doing the right thing. But that didn't change how hard it was.


End file.
